@fro_vo: [first date]
ME: so which movie do you think will win the oscar
DATE: Get Out
@OzCricketFan81: If my memory foam mattress really had "memory," it could write for Penthouse.
@Bob_Janke: An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google
@WilliamAder: It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
@SwoonTwang: Why would a needle even be in a haystack? Who sews in a barn?
@KalvinMacleod: Dave is coming over.
Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave?
Outside: THIS RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING.