@TheAlexNevil: First day of school and 8's teacher has already sent a note home with him: "You dropped your son off at the wrong school."
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@spies_please: CHASE: Hi we are calling to check for fraud you spent $40 at 7/11 ME: Yea CHASE: Then you went to Taco Bell at 3am ME: Are these questions
@Reverend_Scott: When I lift one of my dog's muddy paws to clean it he acts like he's gonna fall down. DOG YOU STILL GOT 3 LEGS. I ONLY GOT 2
@TheCatWhisprer: If you cut me off in traffic you better be ready to look in your rearview mirror and see me yelling something you can't hear.