@WilliamAder: First person to build a clock had no idea how long it took.
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@breakfastbeerz: Who called them "homo erectus'" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them "homo erectus'"
@Reverend_Scott: *calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.
@pan_opt_icon: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: Besides that.
@lisaxy424: "zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real zombies aren't real" - me, walking my dog at night