@WilliamAder: First person to build a clock had no idea how long it took.
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@GrantTanaka: 1: ‘Twas the night before xmas, & all thru the house Dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse
@ohthatbadger: X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: … Me: 😁 On… paws. X: I hate you so much.
@dafloydsta: ME: Not gonna make it in today. I hurt my updog. BOSS: What's updog? ME: Nothing much, prolly just gonna take a nap.
@wolfpupy: at the grampys, about to anounce who won the grampy award. open envelope. its grandpa!!! you did it congratulations