@truegritrumble: FIRST PERSON TO USE AN IRON: This battle hammer does wonders for my enemies' shirts!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pattymo: After every one of Benedict Cumberbatch's lines in DR. STRANGE, turn to your neighbor & say "I guess that's why they call him Dr. Strange"
@TheMichaelRock: If schools were really serious about fundraisers, they'd sell drugs and alcohol.
@YourAnMoron: Judge "Why are you divorcing her?" Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody." J "You get half her stuff." *air guitar solo*
@TYrannosaurus: Auto correct doesn't work when I use caps lock. My phone is like "woah, better let this dude cool down before I tell him he's wrong"