@drhappyknuckles: First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got.
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@AristotlesNZ: Yea? Well who died & made you Batman? Oh crap..that's right. Bruce, I'm so sorry. Come on, dude, don't cry. Seriously, where you going?
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"
@jergarl: After walking 500 miles and then 500 more, it turns out the door was mediocre at best. 3/5 stars.
@OneTrickTofani: *proposes to girlfriend, accidentally dropping the ring in the ocean* "I'll still marry you" No. I'm married to the sea now *dives in*