@drhappyknuckles: First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got.
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@SortaBad: I've been informed by TSA that my man-bun is not allowed on the plane. They fear a riot from horny women clamoring to sit next to me
@TeeJayRush: Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted...