@NotChuckBarkley: First white Muslims in Boston, now a 7'0" gay black pro athlete. Narrow-minded conservatives everywhere are having a very confusing month.
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@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] HER: I'm a real planner. I like people who plan ahead. ME: *trying to impress her* I'm already wearing a condom
@TheBoydP: TV Anchor: I don't have my Halloween costume yet but it's going to be cool and wet! Me: Wow you go girl! TVA: turning to weather... M: Oh...
@joeldanger: My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything.