@wolfpupy: first you light 100 candles, then you fall asleep. this 'burn your house down' spell works every time
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: "It's very expensive." - Chipotle employee "Look, I got money to spend in here." - Julia Roberts Pretty Woman 2: Guacamole Costs Extra
@Ristolable: HI MOM. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I JUST WON AN ARGUMENT ON THE INTERNET. Sorry caps lock was still on from the argument. But I won.
@mishakey: Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation.
@novicefather: [Personal ad] Seeking hostile female rage rhino to suffocate me with her thighs. Smoker's cough a plus. Oxygen tank required. No crazies.