@wolfpupy: first you light 100 candles, then you fall asleep. this 'burn your house down' spell works every time
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@timdonakowski: After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down.
@JeannieG40: Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me.
@JoParkerBear: Donald Trump is probably the closest we'll ever get to electing Eric Cartman president.