@J_Dazzle76: Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it.
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@sweet_pea707: HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you
@_b1p0larbear: Daughter 7 catches spiders, puts them in jars to make them fight, then releases the victor. I don't know whether to be impressed or scared.
@DanMentos: "So Dave died" Dave from work or Dave who never follows through on things "Both. it was a suicide pact" *dave walks in* hey guys
@jonnysun: a fun prank is when ur friemd about to sit in a chair u pul the chair out from under them and replace it w/ a fancier mor comfortabal chair