@J_Dazzle76: Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it.
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@TommyWallace: [Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"
@Writepop: In the new Star Wars film, Han Solo goes to Chewbacca's home planet and discovers that all the other Wookies wear pants.
@pleatedjeans: me: can I buy you a drink? girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.