@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.
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@UncleDuke1969: The worst part about "Friends" being canceled is that I've now been stuck with Rachel's last haircut since 2004.
@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@Social_Mime: When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.