@OutOnTheMoors: FLOTUS is an unfortunate acronym, like something left in the toilet bowl.
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@dshack8: Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real.
@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@abbycohenwl: Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor? Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies