@LoveNLunchmeat: Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.
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@Parker_Simpson: When I'm backing out of a parking spot I like to just close my eyes and gun it because anythings possible through Jesus Christ
@juliussharpe: I hate these services like Tinder and Grindr. I remember back when if you wanted to have sex, someone else had to make a huge mistake.
@peachesanscream: My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree.
@idiosity: Went by the house where I grew up. Asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude.