@AlanHungover: *Food hits floor* Little germs: GET IT!!! King Germ: NO! We must wait 5 seconds!
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@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."
@BradBroaddus: My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.
@peachesanscream: The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
@NotthatAdamWest: "Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."