@yoyoha: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times lets face it you're a jerk and I'm stupid
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@Schmoodles: Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?
@SamPsychMeds: *toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?
@DamienFahey: Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.