@Discourt: For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today.
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@comer310: Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: "Are you single?" Me: *flashes back to that time Wil Wheaton RTd me and left me at the top of his TL all night* "It's complicated..."
@UNTRESOR: Just got kicked off a corn forum for saying you can eat the cob. I'll just sign up with a different name. They can't silence the truth.