@Discourt: For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today.
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@daisy_gi11: Anybody else always feel at least a little panic when their 6 says he "really needs scissors, like right now!"?
@nbadag: DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTAL—IT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: were—were you not listening just now
@AndrewNadeau0: DATE: Tell me about yourself ME: I own 7 pens! D: I meant, like, something personal M:*Sadly* I lie about how many pens I own to impress ppl
@Jake_Vig: PRIEST: Do you take this this woman, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, until death do you part? ME: Well, now you made it weird.