@kumailn: For #BackToTheFutureDay try and get your mom to hit on you.
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@NickBSawyer: *handshake* wow, soft hands! u must've never worked a day in ur life [coming off a 9 hour shift at the Vaseline factory] "u dont know me."
@BatBatshitcrazy: Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking.
@FunnyCauseImFat: At 1am I'm going to wake up my 2 year old by yelling his name and crying. Then, I'll crawl into his toddler bed. Let's see how he likes it.
@samalmightysam: The movie ''Finding Nemo'' would've lasted only 5 minutes if his mother would've looked for him.