@Leemanish: FOR CHRISSAKES, GARY - WE JUST ROBBED A DAMN BANK! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TEACH YOUR NIECE HOW TO DRIVE!
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@freypalm: Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*
@QwertyJones3: Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)
@TheThomason: Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
@GuyThe_Guy: I'm starting to think the guy that gave me directions to the train station was just talking to someone on his Bluetooth.