@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
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@Kyle_Lippert: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES.
@shadygrenade: *ransom note on gun* [1 million dollars by Friday or I shoot your daughter. No exceptions] [ps please mail gun back it's my only one]