@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
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@dorsalstream: [kids fighting in the back seat] ME: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL OVER AND START A PODCAST RIGHT NOW IF YOU 2 DON'T CUT IT OUT.
@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
@rorynotroy: id be so offended if a group of ppl just rolled through my room on safari rn as im lounging in bed and just pointed at me and took pictures