@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
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@sip_at_home_mom: Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling "Ta-da!" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it.
@ScreaminZeman: I only ever learned a couple karate moves, so you could say I know partial arts.
@HatfieldAnne: “Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?” *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen
@jake_likes_naps: [astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] "Is it true the moon is cheese?" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]