@ohpeetie: I feel sorry for kids today but mostly because their cartoons are terrible.

@ehdannyboy: I was running for a bus but I just missed it and had to pretend i didn't want it in the first place so kept running now I'm in Belgium

@buhsbaby_baby: When my dogs crawl into bed with me, I like to pretend it's because they love me and not because I am sleeping in their dog bed on the floor

@MeatloafComedy: It's been a horrible day. This morning my ex got ran over by a fed ex truck. Then I lost my job at fed ex.

@TheAlexP: Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.