For my new tattoo, I’m totally getting a chest piece of a chess piece, cause its fun to be a pun.

@SatansTongue: AlgeBron James is the best mathlete in the league

1

@daddyville: Wife still out of town. I'm afraid if I order Dominos again they will call child services.

88

@Tierno158: My motto is "Grab Life by the Balls." As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named "Leif."

7

@Thynebear: *calls into work* "yo boss i'm real sick" "you don't sound sick..." "ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys" "wow u do sound hella sick"

270

@JB4Realz: Turns out, the guy who invented CPR just liked kissing strangers then punching them in the chest.

1

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