@RexHuppke: For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
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@gigglegirlnoel: If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
@TheAlexNevil: I've had my heart broken before, but I got back up on that horse and said "C'mon, can't we give us one more chance? Stomp once for yes."
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Friends: "No thanks." Enemies: "Also no thanks."
@raniao2011: For all those men who say"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!