@TheSharona06: For people who say "nothing is impossible", that's crazy. I've been successfully doing nothing for several years now.
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@InternetHippo: [making money] Ugh this is boring and awful. But at least spending it will be nice! [spending money] Ah no this feels bad also
@KenJennings: Shout out to whoever invented Braille! Maybe nobody remembers your name but you came up with a pretty dope way for blind people to read
@realHamOnWry: The harder you slam the door walking out on an argument ...the more likely you have to go back inside for your car keys.
@erikbransteen: Future Headline: “Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence”