@TheSharona06: For people who say "nothing is impossible", that's crazy. I've been successfully doing nothing for several years now.
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@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
@AnkCoupleTO: [estate planning] Advisor: Have you thought about an end-of-life gift? Me: I'll be dead, that's a big enough gift for everyone
@JessObsess: You really only have 2 options: 1. You can be miserable bc you're fat 2. You can be miserable bc you're hungry
@EliTerry: Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy.