@MomOfTeen: For such a picky eater, I'm certainly not a picky weight gainer.
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@shawn_spree: My wife is still mad at me for that 20 minute blank stare I did when she asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving day.
@Token_Geezer: The fact that twitter is at it's busiest during working hours probably tells you all you need to know about the worlds economic problems
@behindyourback: If Jesus loves me how come he's never liked a single one of my instagram selfies