@Amber_duds: For the past 2 nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to Web MD this. I'm too young to have kittens.
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@flashember: [War of 1812] American: Let's invade the British North. Other American: Upper or Lower Canada? A: idgaf LATER:
@HiddleDeeDee: Just cleaned out my desk. Bad news: I apparently have 1,453 Sharpies and none of them are sharp. Good news: I found the plane!
@BrianHDot: Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
@DaddyJew: Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife