@Amber_duds: For the past 2 nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to Web MD this. I'm too young to have kittens.
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@dave_cactus: ME: *drinking Canada Dry* CANADIANS: Hello 911? There's a guy here somehow drinking our water reservoirs.
@Donna_McCoy: Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.
@Donna_McCoy: You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.
@TheBoydP: I don't understand why they named it "sandpaper" when the obvious name "office toilet paper" was right there in front of them.