@UghNotAgain: Forced to use Axe Shampoo & Conditioner this morning and now my hair is high fiving people and calling them Braaaah.
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@hammbone84: [Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad.
@HeyZeus666: I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down.