@spacexsam: Forever tricking animals into thinking I'm patting them when really I'm just wiping crumbs off of my hands into their fur
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@ceejoyner: The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite.
@GianDoh: Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.