@abhorrent_wife: Forget about whether or not you have curves, real women have brains.
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@Brampersandon_: GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird
@Cynner777: Buying little gold star stickers so when people I'm speaking with say things I like I'll stick one on their forehead.