@abhorrent_wife: Forget about whether or not you have curves, real women have brains.
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@GeriatricBeards: *throws coin in fountain* stranger: can you not do that? Me: just want my wish to come true S: this is a drinking fountain m: wish came true
@Milla_Jacobs: I wish I had trained flies that would fly into the mouths of people who chew with their mouths open
@noog: [outside eden] Adam: This isnt so bad Eve: Yea Adam: [mosquito lands on arm] Wtf is this [5 min later] Adam: [banging on gates] WE’RE SORRY