@TheFearBoners: Forget the Home Alone parents forgetting their kid. Why the hell do they own a bunch of mannequins?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dukelongboard: When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said "I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these" So now I poop into socks
@audipenny: Christ it is annoying when my parents need help on their failing farm. I always get there and theres a hunk with a toolbox whos like “I’m helping your parents now, with my tools” and I’m like “get out of here!” and then we do end up falling into a marriage. every spring with this
@PaperWash: date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday