@MeetYourDaddy: Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey.
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@dumbbeezie: Goodnight everyone except the guy who invented that thing that shows that you are typing something
@ShortSleeveSuit: [watching The Silence of the Lambs] Me: Hear that? Her: No Me [trying to impress her, leaning in close]: That’s the lambs
@Donna_McCoy: That's not a halo. It's the light at the end of the tunnel glowing behind me as I walk in the wrong direction.
@Fred_Delicious: Girlfriend - "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING THE MONSTER MASH WHILE WE'RE HAVING SEX???" Me [doing what is clearly a graveyard smash] "...no"