@ryaninco: Forgive me Twitter for I have sinned, it's been twenty minutes since my last Tweet.
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@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.
@JaneBadall: "I'd hit that." Clearly what my head thinks about cupboard doors and other hard surfaces when I least expect it.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to "please pull up to the window."
@PlainTravis: I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.