@peteholmes: Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word "stop."
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@AndyAsAdjective: ME: honey, just tap me on the arm tonight if you think I've gotten too drunk WIFE: I've been tapping your arm for the last 2 hours
@JenAshleyWright: Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that's your ghost outfit forever.
@shutupmikeginn: Me:I think I just saw the main guy from Transformers you know, ol' what's his name Friend: Shia Lebouff Me: Yeah, the one whose a truck
@Hormonella: "I love this song!" "This is my favorite song!" "I love this song!" "No, THIS is my favorite song!" ~ Me, listening to my own playlist