@Jandalize: Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car.
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@MarfSalvador: Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes! My wife: Yeah, like his dad Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*
@Tmoney68: George H.W. Bush, age 90, went skydiving yesterday. I'm 45 & I strained my hamstring getting out of my car.
@Fred_Delicious: [Duck support group] "After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*