@jwoodham: Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run.
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@eat_pray_liv: Outkast: Ok now ladies! Me: Yeah??! OK: I wanna see y'all on your baddest behavior! Me: *slowly incurs $18.37 in overdue library fees*
@actioncookbook: SPOUSE: I have to work late Thursday OUTER MONOLOGUE: I am going to miss you INNER MONOLOGUE: I am going to eat something very stupid