@marcia_bee: Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.
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@BuckyIsotope: Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing "The Real Slim Shady" over and over.
@dubstep4dads: [first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, im not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd
@myonlymizztake: I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public.
@AJslackie2: Her: i'm in the mood Me: me too Her: wanna do it Me: oh yeah baby [we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]