@duplicitron: Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone.
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@UncleDuke1969: Will is weary of fame Will runs away to the woods Will dons a loincloth Will eats bugs & berries Will befriends a bear Will Ferrell
@WakeVII: OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
@brunopieroni: "Ok, guys, before you start calling me a pervert, let me just say I found a great source of protein." — The first guy who ever milked a cow.
@jonnysun: FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same… work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?