@Cravin4: Freezing bananas before they go bad is a great tip I learned 6 months ago. Now I have a freezer full of bananas
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@SaraMansford: Pro tip: If you forget their name after a one night stand, just take them to Starbucks in the morning.
@spiritusloquens: My fortune cookie: "Like a hair on a bar of soap, you're likely harmless, but regarded as disgusting and nobody likes you..."
@Probgoblin: The barista can't deal with the man's 'Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee' shirt. Her mouth opens, then closes. The line grows.
@o__0Dev: Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Boom, problem solved!