@joshcomers: Friend from out of town asked if he could crash on my couch. Had to explain to him that I'm married now, so that's where I sleep.
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@daemonic3: It's 4:20 do you know what that means?!? It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done.
@Kyle_Lippert: Right on, adults who are excited for Halloween. I too get excited about things meant for kids. Last week I lost my shit because I saw a frog
@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from "The Sleeping Disease"