@OutOnTheMoors: Friend showed me all the pics taken from the drone he got for Christmas, so I won't be renting the cottage on their farm after all.
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@pertyy_: If you don't want to play with me I'll just play with myself! - Overheard in 2nd grade today... Me too kid, me too.
@ilovepie84: I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures.
@MattShiney: "The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers
@3sunzzz: Screaming out, "YOUR HARMFUL SIDE EFFECTS DON'T SCARE ME," in a pharmacy, gets you moved to the front of the line, apparently.