@OutOnTheMoors: Friend showed me all the pics taken from the drone he got for Christmas, so I won't be renting the cottage on their farm after all.
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@Paxochka: Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens.
@bourgeoisalien: I'm so lazy, if I got kidnapped I’d just think, “Well, this is where I live now.”
@ZombieProblms: My wedding vows said "till death do us part." My wife died, so I was a free man. Then she came back and bit me.