@HumorParasite: Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
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@jctwritesstuff: I don't discriminate. Love whoever you want. Pansexual is cool with me. I mean, I like pans, I guess. They fry bacon and stuff.
@WilliamAder: It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
@pbear79: If you have a gluten allergy I feel bad for you son. I got 99 pizzas and you can't eat one.
@MariyaAlexander: Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm.