@lionprincessval: Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
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@PajamaBenLaden: *undercover cop knocks* Hi fill out this survey to win a free IPad! 1. name 2. address 3. email 4. where are drugs *mustache falls off*
@ShutUpThatsWho: [God creating cheesecake] GOD: [stuffing his face] oh man this is so good ANGEL: shouldn't u share it? GOD: [creates lactose intolerance]
@jonnysun: joel is coming over "eerily quiet joel or joel who alwayes forgets about social events?" [4 hours of silence] i.... i dont kno
@rickolantern: *replaces cream in doughnuts with mayo, tries not to laugh as Frank from accounting eats one...watches, waits, frowns as Frank goes for 2nd