@petridishes: from Jabba the Hutt's perspective Star Wars is the story of a guy who owed him money and then instead of paying had his friends murder him
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@joebirbigs: I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.
@thenoahkinsey: I almost accused a 10 yr old of stealing my dance moves but it turns out he just really had to go to the bathroom & didn't know where it was
@secondofhername: What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.