@trevso_electric: From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as "yesterbae's."
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@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*
@ktbonz: My cousin met her husband five years ago on tinder and are now married with kids but she still has him in her phone as “Tom Tinder”
@andizeisler: Guys, I came of age in the 1970s, when people picked up and murdered hitchhikers, so I didn't realize that murdering hitchhikers was wrong
@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"