@trevso_electric: From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as "yesterbae's."
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@tamizdatum: him: you're a riot me: which one him: haha it's an expres- me: i am the haymarket riot of 1886 him: ok... me: im not some potato riot
@bombsydoll: *sees guy having a heart attack* me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth! person: isn't that for diabetics? me: it's what I would want
@ch000ch: ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know
@markydoodoo: [explaining fingernails to an alien] ME: like little bones that grow out of our hands. ALIEN: ok, that sounds fake, but ok.