@trevso_electric: From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as "yesterbae's."
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@Procaffinator: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos.
@TheHyyyype: rules for dating my daughter: 1. you are not to hang out with her after 11 pm 2. because that's when you'll be hanging out with me 3. please be my friend
@hilaryfairie: I keep hearing "Just be yourself" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :(