@trevso_electric: From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as "yesterbae's."
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@jwoodham: I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
@shariv67: It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again.
@sarcasticmommy4: If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said "Mom, you're not funny", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself.
@Man_Ona_Ledge: How's adulting going for me today u ask? Well,I just spend 20 minutes looking for my phone in my car While using my phone as a flashlight.