@trevso_electric: From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as "yesterbae's."
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@jtrulez: Having my oil changed today, but I need proof it's really changed. I've been hurt by oils before & I'm not going through that again.
@BuckyIsotope: *gives you the finger*gives you the spleen*gives you the bones*gives you all the other parts* Now build me a girlfriend like you promised.
@Mr_Kapowski: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, sir? Me: I honestly do not. There were two guys in front of my car with brooms, vigorously scrubbing the road and I think that increased my speed
@DamienFahey: If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.