@berniethoughts: FROM THE FIRST BITE YOU CAN TELL CELERY DOESN'T WANT TO BE EATEN
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@MarkTConard: Someone hash-tagged "share the love," and I read it as "shave the love." I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that.
@daemonic3: WIFE: OMG how did grandma's ashes get knocked off the mantel? ME: Actually I think it was- *cat makes throat slice gesture* -the wind