@robfee: Frozen (2013): A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children
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@dshack8: "I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself." Drunks and 1 year olds.
@omgthatspunny: It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it
@chapel3929: There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion.