@weinerdog4life: Fun Date Idea: Find a balloon, forget about the date, you have a balloon now.
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@markleggett: In America she's called "Miley" Cyrus, but in other countries she's called "What America would be like if it were a person".
@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift
@Cheeseboy22: I'll be signing copies of my tweets this Friday at Barnes & Noble in Salt Lake City! Just meet me by the bathrooms at 5:30 & bring a pen.
@kingstonstreet: The pen is mightier than the sword. Unless you have like three followers then go with the sword