@weinerdog4life: Fun Date Idea: Find a balloon, forget about the date, you have a balloon now.
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@Underchilde: “I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but...” —People who are found buried in the woods
@Milla_Jacobs: I wish I had trained flies that would fly into the mouths of people who chew with their mouths open
@Beatonm5: Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves
@SteveKoehler22: Oddly enough, ever since downloading AdBlock onto my computer ..... all the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.