@Dutch_50: Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff.

@derekblackmon: I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now.

@hellolanemoore: yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time

@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.

@dyldonot: Baa! "My name is--" Moo! "My name is--" Neigh! "My name is *chickenchicken* Slim Shady." -Eminem at a farm.