@markydoodoo: FUN FACT: Canada was once called Moosebekistan. You don't know. Prove me wrong.
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@juliecursively: HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?
@Sickayduh: "Hey Fred" Yeah Barney? "The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band" Yeah but ABBA do!
@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
@meganamram: I don't need to watch the debates, I read a bumper sticker the other day that totally convinced me