@badbanana: Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia.
@Robert_Beau: The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside.
@bea_ker: *blood everywhere* "What kind of ANIMAL would DO this?" Well, that's a gazelle Jeff, so probably a lion *to other ranger* Jeff's new here
@dubstep4dads: [first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, im not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd