@_Bankrobber_: FUN GAME: when someone tells you the name of their new baby, repeat it back to them, with their surname, and say "Like the murderer?!"
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too
@darkpassenger74: I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket
@_RyanBryce: Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says "have you got any nut allergies" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut
@jngraphs: Me: Nice new car, boss Boss: Well, if you set yourself targets, work hard, stay focused, next year I'll be able to buy an even better one