@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.
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@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.
@i_wasnt_looking: Pharmacy employee you're too unhappy for someone who is in control of all the drugs.
@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.