@Mr_Kapowski: FUN PRANK: Put a bike lock on a bike that already has a lock. Leave the owner a note saying you guys share joint custody of the bike now
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@kevinrowe1: Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, "My twitter girls would do that"
@OrvllShrednbchr: 10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God.
@Mom_Overboard: Cop: You there! Hands over your head! Me: *raises hands* *30 avocados fall out of shirt* Cop: Holy guacamole!
@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend