@clindsaysway: Fun trick to play on your partner: "Don't you remember what day this is?"
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@therepoguy: Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making.
@Shawn_spree: Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *
@jackiembouvier: Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?
@rcromwell4: Follow me on Pinterest for seasonal craft ideas and spells for summoning ancient demons.